Our Star

i knew that it was the right choice, to go and take the twenty seconds of courage to ask if i could hold your hand. we were scared and i wanted it to be this way, i knew that you wanted me to be scared so that i would ask, because you already know what you want. that is how the night started. now we both remember the first time we held hands, it was pretty frightening, and it was mostly because we were at a haunted house. but that's not the point, the point is that you were the one who said that we could hold hands and that is the only reason you wanted to go their yesterday. just so we could hold hands, just so we could point out the only star in the sky that was important to us. just so you would drive me crazy thinking that star was OUR star.. but then i would pull back thinking i was going crazy and it made me realize that i didn't even know if you liked me or not, i had no clue whatsoever, and i realized that, either I'm bad at reading your clues, or your just bad at leaving hints here or their. and i don't know what to think of myself. but i know that i have really strong feelings for you... in fact you could say I'm in love, but everyone knows that you can only be in love if the other person loves you back. the only reason i wright this at night is because i have a slight loss of my senses, which adds to the fact that i think no one knows who i am and that i am pretty sure no one knows who i am talking about. yet they wouldn't know where the gap is where i started liking you and where i stopped liking  some specific individual that i have lost all feelings for.. hopefully, because i cant stand the pressure of liking two people at once. that's where it would go hopelessly wrong... all of it, all that i have worked for all the way to this point, where i can hold you hand and.. in fact.. i honestly cannot tell who's hand is the cold clammy one and who's hand is the sweaty one. yet not knowing has made all the difference.