So today I couldn't take it. In my life, only one phrase has been talking to me. I do not know where it comes from and it goes something like this
"It's better to be let down from knowing, then by not knowing at all. Because then you will live a life of what if." I saw this and I knew that a question unanswered is a fate of depression.
It's been burning in my heart, giving me that feeling that makes me want to scratch my chest out because there isn't enough room in my body, because I find my skin claustrophobic to the senses. And love is pushing it. I needed to be set free! My question, unanswered, needed to be found. But then I asked, and you told, and I fell. And I can't get back up. Because I found you, but this wasn't the way it should have been. Because now I am dying. My heart is rotting. Surviving on only Coca~Cola and tears. Yet the tears feel good. And they stop falling. And my heart stops. I've been through this once before. I won't go through it again. But that's the stupid decision of a procrastinator. Waiting till now to finally put my mind to my heart, and instead of my heart, to my feet, and my feet to my lungs. Cause walking hurts my breathing, so why didn't I just stop? Because love was hopeful. And because love does what he wants.